No means No

After being a work-at-home entrepreneur for over 7 years, I can attest that the toughest item on this list for me, personally, is learning to say no to potential clients or customers. When you work for yourself – especially in the early days – you’re not always sure where that next paycheck is coming from. And even when the customer roster is full this month, you can’t be positive the same will be true next month or the month after, so you tend to take on more work than you can comfortably perform. After all, isn’t a few nights of burning the midnight oil well worth the benefit of having a little more padding in the bank account?

The problem is, working too much to stay ahead causes us stress and job burnout – and it also makes spouses and families a tad angry! So we just exchange one stress point (finances) for another (overwork and family pressure). There is a solution, although you’re not going to like it. Set a limit and stick to it.

I know, I know, this is easier said than done. But I can honestly say that I’ve never had a customer or client disappear into thin air when I told him or her they had to wait a few weeks or months to work with me. In fact, it often shows that you’re in demand and that you can pick and choose who you work with, and when. And that’s a valuable trait, particularly when you want to command top rates for your expertise.

Think about the busiest restaurant you know of: the Hard Rock Cafe, the Cheesecake Factory, etc.  The advance reservations notice these establishments require actually increases their mystique and reputation. Making your customers and clients wait can do the same for you!

Decide how many products you’re going to release, how many interviews you’re going to do, how many coaching clients you’re going to work with, how many articles you’ll write, or how many hours you’re going to work per week, and then stop. That’s it – no more.

One of the best ways to keep your work commitments at a tolerable level is to make a commitment to your family. You can start with committing to attending every softball game, every Scout meeting, and every recital. You can promise dinner each evening, or read out of a chapter book every night to your children.  This will make you accountable to your own scheduled work day. You may feel a momentary pang of regret or anxiety when you tell a potential client “no” or “wait.”  I’m willing to bet it will soon fade when you realize how much less stressed you are on a day-to-day basis, and how much happier your home life is!

You’ve set boundaries for your commitment to your clients. You’ll say the words “no” or “wait” to a client when the time constraints of a new assignment don’t fit within your agenda. You have now become the boss of your time.  Does your family know that?

There you are sitting at your desk in your home office, available to everyone – kids, spouse, neighbors, friends – at a moments notice. You wanted to work at home so you COULD be available to your family, but what are the limits?  We’ll explore the dichotomy of working at home in order to enjoy the flexibility and availability to the ones you love, and working at home in order to create a successful business which requires focused time away from distractions.

I love to hear your comments and join the newsletter while you are here.

Whatever you do, don’t lose control

If you think back over the most stressful times in your life – illness for yourself or a family member, loss of a job or major client, a death in the family – I would venture to say that there’s a common thread through all of these stressful times: Lack of control.

Because home-based entrepreneurs see themselves as pioneers, we pride ourselves on our take-charge attitudes and get-it-done approach to life. Therefore, not being in charge of what’s happening can cause us a great deal of anxiety. We want to fix things, now. When we can’t fix things, or we don’t know how to fix things, we can become very stressed and even freak out a bit.

When faced with a situation where you’re not in control, here are three ways you can maintain an even keel, despite the foul weather:

Find something you CAN control.

When the world is spinning away from you, it can feel like there’s nothing you can control. Not true! In any situation, there’s SOMETHING you can control. Let’s say your major client is having financial difficulties. You may think you are at the whim of their financial ups-and-downs, but you can start regaining a feeling of control by searching out other clients to replace this financially strapped client if they would need to part ways with you. Or you could get your own finances in order and do some proactive belt-tightening so that the loss of one client doesn’t send your world into a tailspin.
You are NOT helpless, and the sooner you find something to control, the sooner you’ll feel less anxious about the future.
Focus on the moment.

Stress comes when we stop focusing on the here and now and start ruminating over the horrible things we wish hadn’t happened yesterday, or about the horrible things we fear will happen tomorrow. If we ground ourselves in the present moment, we find we’re still alive, still functioning, and still able to make decisions. Once we lose site of that fact, though, the stress seeps in. When your thoughts start spinning out of control, gently reel them back in. Take a few deep breaths, remind yourself that you are okay, right now, and then find something productive to do in this moment to protect against what you fear.
This may be difficult for some people to do because they honestly don’t believe they can control their thoughts. It’s true that when our mind is spinning out of control, thoughts do seem to just keep popping into your head. One method health professionals use to quiet discomforted patients is with visualization and repeating positive phrases. This actually does help to quiet the mind so you can gain control, once again, of your thought processes. Once you have quieted your mind, you can choose to focus on the here and now and take back control.
Remind yourself of your expertise and experience.

Stress also comes when we are afraid we can’t handle the horrific scenarios we’ve created for ourselves when we doubt our competence. If our client goes away, then what? If the economy tanks further, then what? If our website crashes, then what? If we knew we’d be okay in the future because we have the expertise to handle these situations, the stress about the future would be a thing of the past.

One tip to combat that stress is to remind yourself of all the tough circumstances you’ve already navigated through successfully. Think about situations you went through in the past and how you handled them. While past success is no guarantee of future performance, as they say in the stock market, it still is a pretty good indication of how things will turn out.

I laugh at the thought of time management

Part 3 of No Stress Series

Setting your priorities and sticking to them is a great step towards reducing your stress, but it won’t help much if you don’t have time to finish all the other menial tasks that are involved in running an at-home business. Items like billing, filing, ordering ink for your printer, and a million other little things that pile up over time still need to be done.

Let’s look at five methods to help you keep better track of where your time goes, and keep on top of your schedule:
Write everything down.

Famous productivity expert David Allen, author of Get It Done, recommend getting your to-dos out of your brain and onto paper. I can attest that this method works! When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I have found one of the greatest ways to de-stress is to sit down and write out everything I have to do that’s got my head spinning. Whether those are big projects, little five-minute tasks, or anything, it all goes down on paper as my brain is churning out the words. When I can actually see my thoughts on paper, I can start sorting and prioritizing.

Keep track of how long a task takes you.

It’s a common psychological trick we play on ourselves – we overestimate how long it takes to complete unpleasant tasks, and we underestimate how long we spend on pleasant items. Get real by writing down the actual time it takes you to do things like file papers, log receipts, and any other tedious task. Then you have a concrete estimate the next time you think, “Oh, that’s going to take all day!”
Minimize interruptions.

Turn off your email alert noise, put your phone ringer on mute, and clear your desktop before you jump into a task that requires concentration. Fewer interruptions and distractions allow you to get in that concentrating “sweet spot” where you’re humming along and working at a pleasant clip. That means you’ll get your work done faster and be less stressed. Constant interruptions ultimately result in needing to re-prioritize your day, over and over and over again. You can see how the stress you feel just keeps escalating without minimizing the interruptions each day.
Break down large projects.

Big projects – website overhauls, writing reports, planning marketing campaigns, creating a newsletter – can be overwhelming. When faced with a large project, break it up into tasks you can complete in one sitting, preferably in under 20 minutes. That way, instead of looking for a free afternoon to tackle the project all at once (which you’ll never get!), you just need to squeeze in 20 minutes here and there until the project is completed. I don’t know anyone who can’t find 20 minutes, but ask an entrepreneur to block out 8 hours for a project, and you’ll receive in turn a stunned glare.
Take advantage of “lost” time.

Our days are full of five minute breaks between activities. We call these “dead” time. You may be sitting in car-line at your child’s school, or in line at the pharmacy, or even waiting for a pot of water to boil. There you are, simply waiting for something to happen. Keep a notebook with a running list of tasks that can be completed in 5 minutes or less. Schedule an appointment, call a friend to set up a lunch date, clean out your voice mail, file your nails – anything that you know you need to do but don’t get around to doing.

Now when you have “dead” time, glance down at your notebook with the list of 5 minute tasks and start at the top.  Work your way down the list every time you find yourself with a few free minutes. You’ll be amazed at how much you accomplish when you’re ready to go!

The power of time management can have you thinking you can do it all now!  You are Superwoman!  You are Supermom!  But, before you go leaping those tall buildings, stop and take a deep breath.  There are still things beyond our control.  Yes, we can do a lot, but we can’t do it all.  Life sometimes gets in the way, even of the most on-task entrepreneur.  Let’s take a look now at how to recover from situations beyond our control.

Post your time management tips, and please share this series with your network. Sign up for my newsletter while you are here.

Get Paid More – Right Now!

By Barb Wade, M.A.
Do you dread hearing the words, “So, what do you charge?” Knowing how much to charge and confidently standing behind those fees is the Achilles Heel of many entrepreneurs.

In fact, some service providers feel so much discomfort when stating their fees that they squirm, buckle, stutter, or even apologize when doing so!

But those of us who are also moms have it even tougher because we tend to be self-sacrificing. Moms are so used to giving to everyone else – our children, our spouses, the church, the PTA – that it can feel odd or even “wrong” to give to ourselves by being well paid.

Here’s a fact: a significant number of coaches, consultants, and service-based entrepreneurs charge way too little – especially if they are also moms. They undervalue their worth and are quick to discount their already low rates when asked. And many feel that making real money and “being of service” are somehow incompatible. But nothing could be further from the truth.

You deserve to be richly paid for the valuable gifts you share with the world!
Your specific expertise, knowledge, and know-how, and its ability to enhance and transform your clients’ lives and/or businesses is highly valuable. Your clients desperately need the information and instruction that you have to offer in order to solve their biggest, most challenging problems.
So why is it so hard to charge appropriately for the tremendous benefits that you bring your clients?

There are many factors that make this a problem area, including “money barriers” — both internal (in your mind) and external (real, practical issues) — that block the flow of abundance. Here are some tips to help you master your response to that dreaded question, “so, what do you charge?”

First of all, answer this question only after you have laid the right groundwork for your prospect to understand the real value of what your are offering. Some people are “bottom line” types and want to get right to the price. You can gracefully redirect them by saying “I’m happy to talk about that with you, but first I’d like to get a little bit more information about you and your needs…”

In order to command higher fees, your clients must understand the incredible results that your coaching, consulting, or service provides for them, and the impact of those results! You are not selling your “time,” you are selling the tangible and measurable outcomes that your clients will enjoy, and that will solve their biggest problems. What are those results worth to them?

Explore where your prospective client is now, and what the cost is of their current situation. Hint: That “cost” is not just monetary, but can include lost time, poor health, bad debt, missed opportunities, broken relationships, or whatever pertains to their circumstances. Then, paint a vivid picture of what is possible for them with your assistance. What will they be able to do, have, or experience at that point that they don’t now?

It’s incredibly important to have “social proof” that allows your clients to trust that you can, in fact, get them to the results that they so desperately crave. One particularly strong form of social proof is to provide testimonials from “raving fan” clients who are thrilled with your services and the results they achieved from working with you.

Another form of social proof that is equally strong is your own personal story. Were you once in the situation that you find most of your clients in, and did you overcome the obstacles you faced to achieve a significant level of fulfillment and success? Tell your story! People want to work with those that they can relate to, and who are living examples of the success that they want for themselves.

Also, cite any official credentials that you may have – degrees, training programs, certifications, etc. Anything that adds credibility will assist you in charging higher fees.

Finally, when it is time to answer the question, speak with authority and confidence. Tell them what you charge and use the word “investment” instead of cost, because no matter what the price, working with you is an investment in themselves or their business. Then be quiet! Let them think about it for a moment. It’s easy to want to start explaining or backpedaling in order to break the tension. Don’t. Wait for them to respond, then deal with any objections they may have.

Perhaps the most important factor in commanding the high fees you desire is how you, personally, feel about yourself and your “right” to be paid such amounts! For whatever reason, many women entrepreneurs in particular tend to discount what they know, and the value of that information. This is a terrible hindrance to your success!

A good strategy is to make a list of all of the contributions you have made to your clients’ lives and the results they have attained. If needed, ask your clients, friends, colleagues, mentors, business partners, and anyone else that you have worked with to tell you what you helped them experience, achieve or create.

You must also remind yourself that what comes so easily to you – either naturally, or because of years of study and experience, or from a combination – is neither obvious nor comes easily to those in your target market. Do not undermine their interest by being self-deprecating about your skills and talents – if you do, so will they!

So, in order to charge what you’re worth (and get it!), take the time to truly embrace the value of your personal skills and expertise. And then practice stating your fees with confidence and conviction.

For more information on our featured Corporate Mom Dropout visit www.barbwade.com

Having a plain-Jane blog with a few scattered keywords nowadays isn’t enough to
grab any search engine’s attention. The home-based working mom must choose her
categories and keywords carefully so her important pages will move to the head of
search engine’s list.

What categories does she choose? It depends on what her blog is about. For instance,
if she’s a life coach, and she posts affirmations often, she can use affirmations as a
category. The main thing is to make the categories reflect the subjects she posts about
most often.

Also, there should be no more than five categories, all of which must be short (two
to four words), to the point and keyword rich. Those categories have to be general
enough to have a lot of entries, however. Each category can reflect a different part of
the business. She mustn’t be whimsical about the categories; changing them means
anyone who has earmarked category will lose it. It’s better to add another category, but
not too many.

If the mom is having difficulty finding the right categories, she can go to http://
www.blumenthals.com/index.php?Google_LBC_Categories , which is a Beta site right
now, but has a search engine that offers a multiple choice of category names. Also,
http://google.com/analytics examines the Web site’s traffic so postings can be refined
to boost viewings. Warning: Google Analytics requires putting HTML code into the site,
so the working mom can have a knowledgeable person do it for her or give it a whirl
herself.

Keywords, also only two to four words, should appear in the title of the blog and in the
first sentence. They can also appear in other parts of the blog. The minimum number of
words for a blog is 250.

Remember, search engines look for pages not Web sites, so the categories and
keywords have to be so full of information that once visitors click on the search entry,
they’ll click through other parts of the site. Any mom from life coach to retailer can
maximize outreach and potential income with targeted blog categories and keywords.

We all form habits in childhood that may interfere with running a sound and profitable business.

For instance, did you procrastinate as a child, like not cleaning your room when your mom asked? Well, now you’re a mompreneur, and that nasty little habit can get you into a world of hurt in your business. You have to return phone calls promptly; you have to pay bills promptly; you have to write reports promptly. Well, you get the idea. Your livelihood depends on recognizing the habits that will hurt your business and learning a new more business-like habit.

Once you can recognize this baggage from your childhood, you can do something about it. Take a long, hard look at yourself and add up the good points and the bad. If the bad can hurt your business, be stern with yourself and start the retraining campaign. You can accomplish a lot just by taking note every time you slide back into the old routine.

Many years ago before the patches, the pills and the gum there was a smoking cessation trick that had the smokers put many rubber bands around the cigarette pack so that they were aware every time they reached for a smoke. It slowed them down enough so that they could decide whether they could do without. That’s what you need to do. Tie mental rubber bands around the bad habit, and every time you feel yourself slipping, you can stop and follow the new business habit.